I will praise You in this storm

Yesterday was quite a long day in our family. Lee's visitation and funeral service were yesterday afternoon. Haley and Brianna sang a beautiful song for their Daddy, it was very touching. They held up very well under the circumstances. There were so many people who came to pay their respects, and the preacher gave a very warm message about Lee. He was always there waving a hand hello, and would pat me on the back and say "Love you, Mir". The circumstances over the years have been trying on Mom, but she loved him. He blessed her life with two beautiful little girls. I am glad we were able to be there for the three of them. Ethan went along and did very well. He craned his head around to watch Haley and Brianna when they were singing. He loves his aunts :)

After the burial, we went up to the hospital to visit Aunt Sheila. She had four big tests yesterday to try to determine her diagnosis and we were still waiting for the results to come back. Dr. Richards, the oncologist we had requested, had come early in the morning to see her. We headed home when Mammaw and Papaw left so we could feed Ethan dinner after his long nap, and to let Sheila rest. We were getting things together at home and getting ready to put Ethan to bed when I got a phone call from Mammaw. Dr. Richards had come back to see her and give her the results from her CT scan and bone scan. Uncle Rod, Simeon, and their pastor were there when he gave her the news. She does have a tumor on her left kidney that has metastasized to her liver and her spine, and he does not think that it is operable. He is calling in a nephrologist and a radiation oncologist to get their opinions as well. We're not sure what treatment options are available at this time. We hurried up and put Ethan to bed and I went back to the hospital to be with my family. It is so hard being a nurse and feeling like people look to you for answers. It is so hard looking at your aunt that is like a sister to you and having her ask you if I think they can help her. It breaks my heart. The women in my family all flocked to her room to be there and support her and pray for her. There is nothing we can do but pray. It is all in God's hands. He knows everything, and He is a healer.

Today after I got off work, I went right to the hospital to visit. She did have her kidney biopsy and paracentesis today, so we will have a few days to wait for those results before they decide how to proceed. The nephrologist and radiation oncologist both saw her today and were pretty much in agreement with Dr. Richards. He will be out for the holiday, so his partner, Dr. Lang came back to see us this evening. He discussed some different treatment options, but we are in the wait and see stage right now until those test results come back.

I really felt to stay and be with her and my family. She was so alive and vibrant tonight. She was smiling and cracking jokes and it was so nice to see her enjoying herself. We haven't seen her look this well in a long time. We had a room full of family and friends sitting and reminiscing, laughing, smiling, and enjoying ourselves, lifting her spirit. It was a wonderful experience that I wouldn't have missed for anything. It is crazy how much we take for granted. I have a wonderful, amazing family that I am so proud to be a part of.

Both on the way to work, and on the way to the hospital, I heard this song. I have never had lyrics to a song reach out and touch me the way this song has affected me today. It touched my heart and I feel like God spoke to me. She can pull through this. She is a fighter. We give God all the glory and are putting our trust in Him during this trying time. If you are reading this, please keep my Aunt Sheila, my Uncle Rod, her son Simeon, and my family in your prayers.

Casting Crowns - Praise You In The Storm

I was sure by now
God, You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with You"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry
You raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with You"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm