Thursday thoughts

The past week and a half has been a blur. I feel guilty like I have neglected Ethan... I have been at the hospital every chance that I could get, often until past his bedtime, and he has been such a trooper being there most of the time with us. I finally decided to take some time and stay home during the day today so he could get a real nap in his bed. The three of us took a bath in the big tub together and he just loved playing in all the water with his toys and splashed all over... and gave our walls a bath too :)

Ethan had his one year checkup yesterday with Dr. Leanza. I had tried to reschedule, but he is very busy, so we kept our appointment. Mr. Ethan is now 20 pounds, 4 ounces, and he is 28¾ inches long. Dr. Leanza was very happy with his development - walking independently, climbing the stairs, self feeding - and his social skills. He said Ethan is perfect, and is at or ahead where he should be with all of his development :)

In a way it is nice having Ethan at a time like this. He provides a happy distraction when life around us seems to be falling apart. I am so thankful for him :)

Yesterday we got very bad news about Aunt Sheila. For the past week and a half, we have been waiting on a treatment plan. The doctor came in yesterday and said that her liver has shut down and there is no treatment that they can do to help or stop the cancer. We have been forced to come to terms with this, which is incredibly difficult to do. They are planning to send her home tomorrow with Hospice. I am in complete shock... I can't believe that just a few weeks ago, we found out that she had a mass on her kidney, and then shoot forward to now and there are no treatment options. It seems so completely absurb to me as a medical professional that there is nothing that they can do. But cancer is such an unpredictable, destructive disease, and it has just taken over. I don't know how much longer she will be with us, unless God decides to intervene and heal her. The good news is that she seems comfortable now and hopefully she will stay that way, and maybe being back at home will help. The pain medication is so strong that she is asleep so much, and it is hard to see her so unresponsive a lot of the time. I miss her so much already.